Starting Over

To do your will, O my God, is my delight,
and your law is within my heart!" ~ psalm 40.

I am starting over. After several years of being depressed and letting my mind beat me up with "what might have been". I am starting over. 

I am facing a future that is uncertain, and a past that I do not know how to interpret, but I am starting over. 

In order to accomplish this I have been forcing myself to think of other things, mostly scripture and how I can serve my parish. I am attending mass more often, and adoration as often as possible. I am trying to get out more and think about what other people need and how I might meet those needs. It is a much happier way to live. I have tried withdrawing and being off by myself and escaping life as much as possible but that was just not doing a thing for me. 

I am also studying scripture more. I recently acquired the first two books in Carroll's The History of Christendom series. Highly recommended by a well-regarded Catholic Theologian that i know. I am re-reading the first book slowly and with much thought (The Founding of Christendom) in conjunction with Bright's A History of Israel. I always wanted to know more about the Bible and get more in depth with it. 

Being Presidential or Being Ashamed

So, two days ago terrorists stormed our Embassy in Cairo Egypt, tore down the flag of our Sovereign Nation, desecrated it and replaced it with their own terrorist flag. 

THIS IS AN ACT OF WAR!

O say does that Star Spangled Banner yet wave O'er the land of the free and the home of the brave? 

NO! It was taken down 3 1/2 years ago when a man took office who is not proud of that flag, who is not looking out for our freedoms. Who is not protecting the lives of the weak and the innocent. Who does not stand for the freedom and democracy that made this nation great!. 

I am sorry, I was proud that we could elect an African American to be our president. I was proud that we could all share in that historic event. But also, i was cautious. There were signs that this man was not presidential material all along the campaign trail. 

I researched him on my own. I was curious, I wanted to get behind the movement to elect him. Hearing that he was an advocate of  the so-called Pro-Choice crowd, i was alert that all may not be as it should be. Then I heard the kind of hate filled preaching that he has been subjected to for many years and seemed to support. Then i heard that he consorted with known terrorists. 

I hunted for articles on him and found one in the Chicago Sun-Times about a man, reputed to be a mafia member, named Tony Rezko who had been indicted, at the time for some dirty tricks in Chicago. I read that this Tony Rezko bought a piece of property for Mr. then-citizen Obama for over a Million dollars and sold the parcel that Mr. Obama wanted to him for much less money and took a significant financial loss by keeping the worthless portion of the land for himself. Hmmm. "Does this mean that Mr. Obama owes a debt of gratitude to Mr. Rezko?" I asked myself. 

I tried to speak out about this but who am I? Just a single mom in a medium sized city with no importance. I was a grain of sand hitting a giant wall. 

I sat and watched what this man would do after all the celebration at his inaugurationI . I saw him make abortions MORE available around the world and offer MY tax money to use for them. I was heartbroken for the little ones. 

Then, I watched him woo the weak in faith in my own Roman Catholic Church into his fold. Then I watched as he attacked the foundation of our faith here in the United States, Our Catholic Hospitals, the Knights of Columbus( who provide Catholic Insurance), even our very Bishops who stood up to him for our true teachings. I was proud of our Bishops but heartbroken for our Church and our nation. 

Now I am ashamed, ashamed that our flag was not defended in Egypt. Ashamed that a man who gave his life for the Foreign Service died with a mob of  hatred around him. I am ashamed that one man stood up and was PRESIDENTIAL and defended our flag and our nation and now he is being browbeaten for it. I am ashamed of our media. 

Its been a while.... In the past year i lost three of my cats. Sassy, the one mentioned here, then my beloved 3 year old Alex, who got crystals in his urine and suffered, for several weeks before I could not do anything but put him down poor dear. Then later in January of this year my 10 year old Anya was diagnosed with in operablecancer in her jaw. It was only 10 days later that her poor jaw was red and bloody and she  went on to cat heaven in my arms. 

This left us with only my little 3 year old Kit Kat, so i eventually went on a search for a companion for her to replace her beloved Alex. 

In March, a good friend contacted a lady at church who had a foundling kitty, this became my little Hudson, he was about 10 months old when we adopted him. 

Next, a lady at work begged me to take her big tabby Rufus off her hands, he was also 10 months old but twice the size of Hudson. They were fast friends!