Starting Over

To do your will, O my God, is my delight,
and your law is within my heart!" ~ psalm 40.

I am starting over. After several years of being depressed and letting my mind beat me up with "what might have been". I am starting over. 

I am facing a future that is uncertain, and a past that I do not know how to interpret, but I am starting over. 

In order to accomplish this I have been forcing myself to think of other things, mostly scripture and how I can serve my parish. I am attending mass more often, and adoration as often as possible. I am trying to get out more and think about what other people need and how I might meet those needs. It is a much happier way to live. I have tried withdrawing and being off by myself and escaping life as much as possible but that was just not doing a thing for me. 

I am also studying scripture more. I recently acquired the first two books in Carroll's The History of Christendom series. Highly recommended by a well-regarded Catholic Theologian that i know. I am re-reading the first book slowly and with much thought (The Founding of Christendom) in conjunction with Bright's A History of Israel. I always wanted to know more about the Bible and get more in depth with it.