Starting Over

To do your will, O my God, is my delight,
and your law is within my heart!" ~ psalm 40.

I am starting over. After several years of being depressed and letting my mind beat me up with "what might have been". I am starting over. 

I am facing a future that is uncertain, and a past that I do not know how to interpret, but I am starting over. 

In order to accomplish this I have been forcing myself to think of other things, mostly scripture and how I can serve my parish. I am attending mass more often, and adoration as often as possible. I am trying to get out more and think about what other people need and how I might meet those needs. It is a much happier way to live. I have tried withdrawing and being off by myself and escaping life as much as possible but that was just not doing a thing for me. 

I am also studying scripture more. I recently acquired the first two books in Carroll's The History of Christendom series. Highly recommended by a well-regarded Catholic Theologian that i know. I am re-reading the first book slowly and with much thought (The Founding of Christendom) in conjunction with Bright's A History of Israel. I always wanted to know more about the Bible and get more in depth with it. 

Being Presidential or Being Ashamed

So, two days ago terrorists stormed our Embassy in Cairo Egypt, tore down the flag of our Sovereign Nation, desecrated it and replaced it with their own terrorist flag. 

THIS IS AN ACT OF WAR!

O say does that Star Spangled Banner yet wave O'er the land of the free and the home of the brave? 

NO! It was taken down 3 1/2 years ago when a man took office who is not proud of that flag, who is not looking out for our freedoms. Who is not protecting the lives of the weak and the innocent. Who does not stand for the freedom and democracy that made this nation great!. 

I am sorry, I was proud that we could elect an African American to be our president. I was proud that we could all share in that historic event. But also, i was cautious. There were signs that this man was not presidential material all along the campaign trail. 

I researched him on my own. I was curious, I wanted to get behind the movement to elect him. Hearing that he was an advocate of  the so-called Pro-Choice crowd, i was alert that all may not be as it should be. Then I heard the kind of hate filled preaching that he has been subjected to for many years and seemed to support. Then i heard that he consorted with known terrorists. 

I hunted for articles on him and found one in the Chicago Sun-Times about a man, reputed to be a mafia member, named Tony Rezko who had been indicted, at the time for some dirty tricks in Chicago. I read that this Tony Rezko bought a piece of property for Mr. then-citizen Obama for over a Million dollars and sold the parcel that Mr. Obama wanted to him for much less money and took a significant financial loss by keeping the worthless portion of the land for himself. Hmmm. "Does this mean that Mr. Obama owes a debt of gratitude to Mr. Rezko?" I asked myself. 

I tried to speak out about this but who am I? Just a single mom in a medium sized city with no importance. I was a grain of sand hitting a giant wall. 

I sat and watched what this man would do after all the celebration at his inaugurationI . I saw him make abortions MORE available around the world and offer MY tax money to use for them. I was heartbroken for the little ones. 

Then, I watched him woo the weak in faith in my own Roman Catholic Church into his fold. Then I watched as he attacked the foundation of our faith here in the United States, Our Catholic Hospitals, the Knights of Columbus( who provide Catholic Insurance), even our very Bishops who stood up to him for our true teachings. I was proud of our Bishops but heartbroken for our Church and our nation. 

Now I am ashamed, ashamed that our flag was not defended in Egypt. Ashamed that a man who gave his life for the Foreign Service died with a mob of  hatred around him. I am ashamed that one man stood up and was PRESIDENTIAL and defended our flag and our nation and now he is being browbeaten for it. I am ashamed of our media. 

Its been a while.... In the past year i lost three of my cats. Sassy, the one mentioned here, then my beloved 3 year old Alex, who got crystals in his urine and suffered, for several weeks before I could not do anything but put him down poor dear. Then later in January of this year my 10 year old Anya was diagnosed with in operablecancer in her jaw. It was only 10 days later that her poor jaw was red and bloody and she  went on to cat heaven in my arms. 

This left us with only my little 3 year old Kit Kat, so i eventually went on a search for a companion for her to replace her beloved Alex. 

In March, a good friend contacted a lady at church who had a foundling kitty, this became my little Hudson, he was about 10 months old when we adopted him. 

Next, a lady at work begged me to take her big tabby Rufus off her hands, he was also 10 months old but twice the size of Hudson. They were fast friends! 

The Life Dilemma

Here is the BIG QUESTION: To euthanize or not?


Let me 'splain. 


So i am VERY pro-life, BUT I have this 20-year old cat. 


She has been a wonderful and faithful companion for twenty years! I owe her a lot for being there during all the hard times, lowering my blood pressure and bringing lots of companionship, laughter and love into the lives of my children and I. 


She wheezes when she breathes now. Her feet are misshapen and probably arthritic. Take her to the vet you say? Well even IF the vet took food stamps I am currently out of them and will not get more for a week. Now the poor dear has a weepy eye and seems almost deaf. 


There has been some talk with friends that there may be a Humane society clinic Where i can take her and turn her in. But i will feel like a traitor on SO many levels. What should I do? 

WOW

Its been almost a year since my last post! Too long i think. What's on my mind now? Lots of things that are not positive but setting my boring future aside.....here is what i am thinking about a lot lately:

Tradition!

Traditioooooooonn sang Tevya the milkman in Fiddler on the Roof!
Tradition! That is not of GOD, say protestants of certain stripes

Its not our tradition...say some.

Does the Sacred Word of God forbid traditions? NO by no means! The Bible only rails against the "traditions of men". So what are the traditions of GOD? Are they the adaptations of Jewish worship and prayers incorporated into the new worship of the new religion of Christianity by the first apostles of Jesus Christ? OR are they "new" ways of worship invented by those who believe they are lead by the Holy Spirit of God today?

If you were Jesus Christ what what you say? Seems to this humble soul, that if Jesus hand-picked certain men to found the new faith and gave them authority we should follow their traditions.

WHO is Jesus addressing here in this passage--specifically?

Matthew 16  ¹³ When Jesus came to the region of Caesarea Philippi, he asked his disciples, “Who do people say the Son of Man is?”

   ¹⁴ They replied, “Some say John the Baptist; others say Elijah; and still others, Jeremiah or one of the prophets.”

   ¹⁵ “But what about you?” he asked. “Who do you say I am?”

   ¹⁶ Simon Peter answered, “You are the Messiah, the Son of the living God.”

   ¹⁷ Jesus replied, “Blessed are you, Simon son of Jonah, for this was not revealed to you by flesh and blood, but by my Father in heaven. ¹⁸ And I tell you that you are Peter,^[b] and on this rock I will build my church, and the gates of Hades^[c] will not overcome it. ¹⁹ I will give you the keys of the kingdom of heaven; whatever you bind on earth will be^[d] bound in heaven, and whatever you loose on earth will be^[e] loosed in heaven.” ²⁰ Then he ordered his disciples not to tell anyone that he was the Messiah.

I was taught, years ago in a Christian talk that Jesus was addressing all believers here, but the person pulled verse 19 out all by itself. However, is that the reality here? or is Jesus doing a specific thing here? For over a fifteen hundred years believers thought that this scripture was as straight as it appears. When did we get to make our own interpretations of this out of context? only in the last 50 years i would theorize. 

Lastly, another question, when did the freedom spoken of as a legacy of the power of the Cross and resurrection of Christ become freedom OF religion? When did Religion become a "bad guy"? I believe that Satan wins a round with us if because some people abused a good thing we throw out the good thing altogether. Lets not hand Satan and his ilk any more wins! Please!

An old poster from the wall in my room

Max Ehrmann

Desiderata

Go placidly amid the noise and haste,

and remember what peace there may be in silence.

As far as possible without surrender

be on good terms with all persons.

Speak your truth quietly and clearly;

and listen to others,

even the dull and the ignorant;

they too have their story.

Avoid loud and aggressive persons,

they are vexations to the spirit.

If you compare yourself with others,

you may become vain and bitter;

for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.

Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans.

Keep interested in your own career, however humble;

it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.

Exercise caution in your business affairs;

for the world is full of trickery.

But let this not blind you to what virtue there is;

many persons strive for high ideals;

and everywhere life is full of heroism.

Be yourself.

Especially, do not feign affection.

Neither be cynical about love;

for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment

it is as perennial as the grass.

Take kindly the counsel of the years,

gracefully surrendering the things of youth.

Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune.

But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings.

Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.

Beyond a wholesome discipline,

be gentle with yourself.

You are a child of the universe,

no less than the trees and the stars;

you have a right to be here.

And whether or not it is clear to you,

no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.

Therefore be at peace with God,

whatever you conceive Him to be,

and whatever your labors and aspirations,

in the noisy confusion of life keep peace with your soul.

With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams,

it is still a beautiful world.

Be cheerful.

Strive to be happy.

Max Ehrmann, Desiderata, Copyright 1952.

The Skull and Crossbones at the Foot of the Cross

The earliest Crucifixes (they were not ashamed to put Jesus on the cross, they used the full Crucifix), Had a skull and crossbones at the base of the cross. Ancient peoples believed that Golgotha was the place where the bones of Adam were buried. So when depicting the cross of Christ, they placed the God of Love upon the cross with the bones of "the first Adam" as Paul calls him. at its base.

The precious blood of our Savior dripped down upon the bones of Adam and redeemed him to God. O God on this Passion Friday, Cleanse us by your precious and Holy blood. Redeem us fully, in every area of our lives, right to our very bones.